And I understand. I understand why people hold hands: I’d always thought it was about possessiveness, saying ‘This is mine’. But it’s about maintaining contact. It is about speaking without words. It is about I want you with me and don’t go.
You are beautiful because you let yourself feel, and that is a brave thing indeed.
There were no sex classes. No friendship classes. No classes on how to navigate a bureaucracy, build an organization, raise money, create a database, buy a house, love a child, spot a scam, talk someone out of suicide, or figure out what was important to me. Not knowing how to do these things is what messes people up in life, not whether they know algebra or can analyze literature.
Because when I was 13 years old, I was sent home for my tank top straps being a little too thin, but a boy could wear a Cool Story babe, Go Make Me A Sandwich shirt and not be looked at twice.
Because when I was 17 and I told a guy “No” and the next day the word tease was painted on my locker.
Because when I was 18 and just wanted to be friends, I was a bitch.
Because I feel the need to say “I have a boyfriend” instead of “No” because guys respect other men more than they would ever respect me.
Because society screams “don’t get raped” instead of “don’t rape”
Because I am scared to walk alone at 10 PM
Because being beautiful is the most important thing I’ll ever do.
Because when I wear my favorite skirt “I’m asking for it”
Because the song Blurred Lines exists
Because no means no no matter how you fucking spin it
Because a girl was drugged and raped with a beer bottle, and the boys who did it are out on bail.
Because I owe you nothing
Because pepper spray is a gift I receive yearly.
Because I am asked if I have a boyfriend more than I am asked about my mental health
Because my clothes say more about my consent then my mouth does.
Because the wage gap exists
Because “not all men are like that” is said way too often
Because I feel the need to say “I’m not a feminist but…”
Because I’m writing this fucking piece
I’m a dirt person. I trust the dirt. I don’t trust diamonds and gold.
…you’d be surprised how many people violate this simple principle every day of their lives and try to fit square pegs into round holes, ignoring the clear reality that Things Are As They Are. We will let a selection from the writings of Chuang-tse illustrate: Hui-tse said to Chuang-tse, “I have a large tree which no carpenter can cut into lumber. Its branches and trunk are crooked and tough, covered with bumps and depressions. No builder would turn his head to look at it. Your teachings are the same - useless, without value. Therefore, no one pays attention to them.
You complain that your tree is not valuable as lumber. But you could make use of the shade it provides, rest under its sheltering branches, and stroll beneath it, admiring its character and appearance. Since it would not be endangered by an axe, what could threaten its existence? It is useless to you only because you want to make it into something else and do not use it in its proper way.
When we know ourselves to be connected to all others, acting compassionately is simply the natural thing to do.
things to start doing:
- drink more water
- carry a camera everywhere i go
- read more books than i already do
- go for walks
- do yoga more often
- go to bed earlier
- enjoy the little things
- go outside more
- stop comparing myself to others
- stick to my goals n stop putting things off
- write down my feelings
- smile more, especially at random people
I want to wake up and smell the cold forest air, I want to feel the soft moss under my bare feet as I sip tea. I don’t want to worry about what time it is or whats going to happen next. I just want to be.